A Cat-astrophic Problem
by SaintPellegrino
Summary: A surprise gift from the Captain of the Guard brings sneezes, rashes, and other things the Queen of Hyrule wouldn't have liked to deal with. At least not right now. Oneshot, post TP Zelink.


**A Cat-astrophic Problem  
By SP**

She slipped into her study shortly after dawn to quickly finish up the papers she didn't cover last night. She couldn't let today's schedule be thrown off because of her habit reading every single little detail in the paper that were stacked on her desk (she didn't even attempt to rationalize her nitpicking at this point), in addition to the disastrous Council meeting slated for two in the afternoon, an inevitably miserable audience with the foreign dignitaries that came two days too early for her to truly prepare for, and the frozen pipes in the kitchen that threatened the rest of the week's meals of the hundreds of souls residing within the Castle walls that her maids told her about as they woke up the Queen of Hyrule.

But she had to stick to that schedule. No excuses, not ever.

However, as she heard the _click _of the door closing behind her, she knows something was different in the room she was in only a scant four hours ago.

For example, there _definitely _wasn't a small feline curled up on the budget proposals she specifically left out last night before she retired to her chambers.

The Queen stepped towards her desk, cautiously so as to not wake the cat and somehow incur its wrath this early in the morning. Of course she never actually had a cat, or any pet for that matter – but she heard enough stories from her maids to be wary of their innocent purring and wide eyes.

Sidling to her chair, she leaned forward to rest her chin on the desk, scant inches away from the orange furball. She sniffed to stop her eyes from watering _why on earth are your eyes watering that makes no sense you just woke up – _

She stopped her train of thought, noticing the ragged piece of parchment tucked under its tail. Softly picking it up to remove the paper, the corners of her mouth slightly curled up, as she already knew who was the bringer of this unexpected guest from the scrawled handwriting and several crossed-out sentences in the missive.

_Princess__ Queen Zelda,_

_I noticed since taking my post here that you don't really talk to a lot of people besides myself. I mean that in the best way, since you're doing your best since the whole "incident" and your coronation and you have a lot going on. You just don't have time for idle chit-chat, and I completely understand that. And I thought you could use a new friend__ not that I think we're not friends__, to make up for everyone you __hate that you have to deal with__ don't like dealing with, so say hello to your very first pet! You can name her whatever you want, I picked her up from an alley in Castle Town during my patrol tonight_ (Zelda paused to briefly inspect the stray for bugs or gods-know-what it could've brought into the Castle), _so here you go! Cats aren't a lot of work – you can easily set out a bowl of food and water for them and they'll be happy and won't ask for much attention, __kind of like a certain Captain of the Guard you know.__Let me know if you like __I hope you don't think this gift is too forward, and I sincerely hope you like him._

_Your friend,_

_Sincerely,_

_Regards,_

_Sir Link_

_PS: I'm really working on my handwriting. It's gotten a lot better since you started giving me lessons, I swear it!_

She sighed as she folded the brief letter in half and tucked it into one of the side drawers of her desk. It was tootypical of Link to let his supposedly indomitable spirit be swayed by the meowing of a flea-bitten kitten.

Zelda propped her elbows on the wooden desk and folded her hands together, staring down the cat that was sleepily meowing at the sun's rays beaming through the windows, practically blinding the poor little thing. "Now, what am I to name you, my dear?" She hadn't the foggiest of where to even begin. If she wanted to be truly narcissistic in the gift she could just name the cat after herself (wait until the people hear about that, _then _her popularity would go down the drain). Calling her a name from one of Hyrule's storied histories was so typical, so that was out of the question. Unless…

"Link," she said aloud, tasting the name on her lips. Zelda couldn't remember when she actually said the name of the Hero of Light (he hated the title but that's what she insisted what was going to be written in the Book of Mudora) aloud – she probably did in a moment of weakness in the battle against the Evil King, but she pushed the thought from her mind as quickly as it came. It was fitting that the present be named after the person who gave it, wasn't that what the common folk did when they exchanged gifts like this?

She felt the heat on her cheeks almost immediately. Who was she, naming cats after her – no, some Hero like a lovesick milkmaid? Idiotic. Pathetic, even. Link was out of the question.

She found another name after a few moments of pondering. _Hans. _For one of the few Councilors she liked, with his bushy ginger mane and beard, it was almost a match to the kitten's own hair.

Zelda gingerly picked up the cat, setting it down in her lap to actually begin working that day. "So, Hans… how much do you know about setting stricter budget proposals?"

Her focus was uncharacteristically poor this particular morning, and she rang for her morning tea earlier than she was used to in order to rid herself of this terrible stuffed-head feeling. She chided herself for letting herself be so tired this early in the week.

_Let him know how much you love the gift the next time you see him,_ she noted to herself as she petted Hans with her free hand, letting his soft purrs elicit a content, if small, smile from the Queen.

**xxx**

Her gratitude towards Link seemed to open up an unspoken invitation for him to bring in a few more cats into the Castle. And then a few more. Soon Queen Zelda couldn't walk anywhere in the Castle and not feel something rubbing against her leg, or she couldn't find a single cloak that didn't have cat hair on it. She loved all of them, of course, but she noticed something was off. Something was terribly, terribly off.

It started with a sneeze. She didn't think much of it, since she was always so sickly as a child and it's been too long since she's been crippled to her bed for days at a time. Her doctor said to have more fruit at meals because it boosts her defense against illness because of all the stress, but the Queen honestly knows that's poppycock and gives her maids a stern look when her breakfast tray has more citrus than she can possibly name.

So she ignored how her eyes water within moments of setting foot into her study when no less than three cats are silently perched on every important surface in the room, and keeps four handkerchiefs on hand when she sits down on her throne to have an audience with streams of people she can't even remember what they asked for or who they were two minutes later.

Then it's more sneezes and she has to step outside the Council room to let those old men on their deathbeds debate on needed legislation without them saying "bless you" in unison every few minutes. They coo over the kitten that snuck into the cloistered room, and drop him into Sir Link's hands because they're all too _important _to deal with a nuisance like that. When the Queen comes back her eyes are redder than ever and she slides down her gloves to absently scratch at her reddening arms. A few of the men look a bit concerned, but she waves them off and asks for a transcription of the meeting to be sent to her immediately so she can sleep whatever this is off. They give a collective mumble and bury their noses back in their portfolios, and Sir Link nods because he is Link and Link doesn't voice concern. She mumbles a nasal "thank you," picks up a few papers she prays she could read before she inevitably falls asleep, and lightheadedly makes her way back to her chambers.

She doesn't even open the oaken doors before one of the maids storms out of her rooms with one of the cats (George? Percy? She couldn't remember for the life of her what she named that one) on her heels. When the Queen sneezes this time, it's loud and messy, and she blinks rapidly to keep her vision focused.

"Your Majesty?" She silently cursed whomever thinks _this _is a lovely time to seek an audience with the tired, miserable Queen to the Dark Realm – and quickly took it all back when she saw the Captain of the Guard standing just behind her, hands clasped behind his back with a conspiratorial grin on his face.

"What is it – oh dear," she said before sniffling loudly. Gods, she wanted to wipe her nose, this was just a little disgusting at this point. "Sorry for that. What is it, Sir Link?"

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I know you're not feeling so great, with all the stress you got on yourself, leaving the Council meeting early and such…"

Zelda rubbed the back of her neck – so unqueenly, she knew that, but it wasn't like Link was going to say anything to anyone about her slipping up just one time. "I'm just a bit under the weather and need to rest," she said, punctuated with sniffles. "If that's all, Sir Link?"

"Oh, there's just one more thing," he replied almost too quickly. "I wanted to give you this at the Council meeting, but not in front of everyone when you left because… well, you know how they are sometimes." Link swung a basket in front of her with a small mound moving around under the white blanket inside the hamper. She couldn't say she wasn't surprised when a glistening nose poked out, followed by a pair of dark pair of eyes and _oh my goodness the little ears they're so adorable-_

"I thought since you've really taken to the cats that you might like dogs? They're a bit more energetic than what you're used to, but that might be a good thing-"

"Well, I think a little bit of energy is good, but-" She bent forward to inspect the pup properly. "Could you possibly define how much energy dogs require? I just think with being so sick all of a sudden, and the whole reconstruction effort finally finishing up that…" Zelda let her voice trail off as the little brown paws flopped over the edge of the basket. _Oh gods no this stupid boy with his stupid animals are going to be the ruin of my reign. Din damn it._ "Do you mind if I-?" She looked up expectantly at him, trying not to think about how his blue eyes, lately so tired, so worn (and all too much how hers looked like) looked all too captivating with that laughing twinkle in them.

"Well, she's yours, so go ahead!" Link pushed the basket towards her, allowing the small dog to make that final leap into the Queen's arms. "She's another stray, so she really likes having the attention. I hope you don't mind, and I can always play with her when you're busy-"

"I don't believe Royal Dog-Sitter as an additional title most befitting for the man who saved the realm," she managed to get out as the pup wriggled closer to her face. It didn't help that the urge to sneeze on the poor thing was growing by the minute. "But you must invite me along if you do kidnap her so I can learn how to properly entertain a pet."

"You never had a pet, your Majesty? _Ever_?"

The Queen stood, cradling the now-calm dog in the crook of her arm while trying to not let her papers crumple. The pup was _tiny, _and she prayed all dogs would forever stay this small and this cute. "My father and doctors thought pets would only exacerbate my sickliness when I was young. And I never had time for them later."

"A real shame, ma'am." She had half a thought to mind his tongue with addressing her so informally. Then again, she _liked _not being called "Queen" or "your highness" with every person she talked to – maybe she'll let it slide, just this once. "I always had one or two or more with me back in Ordon, but I would always make the strongest ones leave so I could help the runts that made their way to my house."

"So your Ordonian animal shelter has been transferred to my Castle. How kind of you to ask me beforehand," Zelda said, softly brushing the top of the puppy's head with her index finger. She shushed him as his protestations began. "Of course I didn't mean that to be condescending, Sir Link. I find your actions to be quite… charming, of sorts."

"Charming?" A single eyebrow arches up when she hears him snort.

"Yes, charming. It shows your true character, Sir Link." The Queen tears her gaze away from the adorable ball of fluff to see the narrowed brow and disbelief etched onto his face. A ball of dog hair is resting on his uniform, perched on the dull grey shoulder plates. She narrows her eyes at it and sighs, slightly in exasperation, more in that Link just didn't understand how wonderful he truly could – no, _is._

"Though you've seemingly jumped up to a position beyond you could even dream of, though you've seen the basest horrors this world can spew out, you remember those who can't help themselves. The weak, the hungry, the poor, such as the strays you herd into my Castle to give them a better life. And you've done that for so many people in my kingdom, more than I can possibly ever help at my station. It's what the people love about you." Zelda ducked her head to briefly cough to the side. Do dogs get sick? Best be safe for the time being to -

"Is that what you love about me, your Majesty?"

The corners of her lips curled into a half-smile. "Quite possibly, Sir Link." His almost-triumphant smirk was softened, not by hurt, of course not hurt, he himself was like the small puppy she held in her arms, and all the animals he's brought to her care – you couldn't possibly harm him because of his simplicity of his smile and the happiness you didn't even know you needed until he brought to it to you every single day he's been here. His ears were quite red as well, she noted with satisfaction at his minor embarrassment. "Quite possibly indeed," she repeated quietly. Zelda coughed, trying to stop the scratchy feeling in her throat.

A few moments passed between them. They weren't awkward at all; it was more the silence when a precipice has been crossed in a relationship, for the better or for the worst.

And she was terrified to see what that would entail.

Uncharacteristically, Link was the one to break the silence. "Your grace, you have an awfully lot to do-"

"Of course, how silly of me. I get to do all this," she turned partly to her open doors, shaking the papers with a tone of irritation, "and everything else I didn't get through today while I'm supposed to feel better-"

"You'll be fine. You've always been fine," Link replied. "Before I forget," he stepped closer, weaving the handle of the basket onto the crook of her arm. "I used the blanket to keep the girl warm, and you might as well keep it with you so she can get used to her new home."

"Sir Link, I really shouldn't-"

"Who else gives a pretty lass like you gifts like this, your Majesty?" Zelda could see the twinkle in his eye as he offered a bow, smartly turning and dismissing herself from her presence before she even had time to register the hot blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks.

She turned and locked the doors to her chambers, fingering the soft material of the blanket. _Sheepskin. _Must've brought it from home, possibly one of the few things he did bring…

A string of sneezes interrupted her musing. But it brought on another thought.

Zelda forgot to tell him she thinks her new pet collection is the cause of her never-ending cold.

With a slight smile, she found that she simply didn't have the heart to ever tell him about that small concern.

**xxx**

She had to admit this was a bit out of hand. It was the fifth week of Link commandeering the Castle with his personal army of all stray animals adorable and cute that he could get his mitts on, and Zelda was nowhere close to being on the schedule she prided herself on sticking to weeks beforehand. Now it was the third day her doctor confined her to her bed, so the elegant and regal Queen of Hyrule and its territories was surrounded by torn handkerchiefs, empty cups of tea, and a mess of papers that were piling up in her less-than-efficient days. Not to mention the multiple dogs and cats that she had to keep politely pushing off the blankets she was huddled up in.

Zelda refused to hold any meetings with anyone on her staff in her _nightclothes _of allthings, nor allow anyone that could possibly use the rashes on her arms or the scratchiness of her eyes or the messiness of her braid as leverage against her to even set foot on the floor where her chambers were. What on earth would people say if they heard that she was taking some _leisure _time or whatever the rumor mill would wrap her sickness into?

"When I say get off, I mean _stay off, _you silly girl." She plucked the black-and-white dog that Link brought in only four days ago and lowered her to the side of her bed, letting her scamper off to join the powwow of three or five _gods she didn't even know how many wriggled their way into her room _puppies over by the window ledge. She hadn't even bothered to keep an eye on the cats prowling around her bedroom, occasionally stalking and springing upon the dogs that were just minding their own business.

Zelda settles back into her bed, trying to understand the most cost-efficient bridge structures. She's not exactly sure what she had to sign before tomorrow morning, but it had to do something with this. Hopefully it did, because this was the last thing she was going to read before passing out.

A soft knock raps on her door. "Queen Zelda? It's me." She was probably imagining it was _his _voice because she hadn't heard it in days and loved that voice, and she was a fool for even wanting it to be him instead of her doctor in the first place.

She opens her mouth to respond, but is caught in a fit of coughing instead. Her eyes feel like sandpaper, her chest is tight, her skin is painfully sensitive, and she can't catch her breath without thinking she's going to hack up a lung.

"I hope you have some tea with you, Doctor Grimsby – _oh_," she suddenly stopped as she saw Link standing by the closed door. The actual, real Link, the one that's been plaguing her thoughts ever since he became part of her personal detail. "I-I didn't mean to," Zelda started to say, wiping her runny nose on her newest blanket before she could go on.

"I know you weren't taking any visitors, and your balcony doors were closed," he nodded to the other side of the room towards them. "The doc is really cooping you up in here, aren't they?"

She sneezes again, since you can't possibly sneeze too many times in one night. "He says it is for the best."

Link offered a small smile. "Of course he does. How long have you been under the weather, your Majesty?" He was trying his hardest to exchange pleasantries, trying so hard to have some semblance of interaction with her (but that was only if he was starving for her like she was for him).

"Maybe five weeks?" Zelda winced as she tugged the blanket up to her neck. "Ever since…" she trailed off, meeting his eyes in understanding.

He blinks. And again. Then he stepped back to the door, opening it widely before letting out a loud whistle. Before she could say anything, the small herd raced out of her room. Link closed the door after the smallest, slowest puppy crossed the threshold and smartly turned back to her. "Allergies. That's what you have."

She quirked an eyebrow up at him. The sneezing seems to take a break, for a little while at least. "Your rapid diagnosis astounds me, Sir Link. Shall I replace the Royal Family's doctor with you?"

"I wouldn't mind if that meant I could see you more often." Link pulled her vanity chair to her bedside with a cheeky grin on his face. "That is, if you can stand to be around me for that long."

"And why would I possibly not want to be around you?" Zelda leaned forward, resting her cheek on her knees. The sheepskin felt even better on her face, completely worth the splitting headache that she just _knew_ was coming.

He offered his arm to her. "Smell me." He frowned when she gave him a disapproving look. "You can give me that holier-than-thou look if you want, Princess, but it'll explain itself."

She grimaced, but lifted his arm closer to her, sniffing quickly before turning to the side and loudly sneezing.

"Bless you."

Wiping her nose with the blanket, Zelda smiled softly at him. "You need to call me by my proper title if you want to keep your position, Sir. And you smell like dog." Was he still able to shift after the Twilight Princess' help? _But how_? _Why didn't he share with me that he could?_

"Just proving a point, your Majesty." Link stood up, rearranging the pillows behind her, and she felt _more_ comfortable than when her maids propped her up, if only her head didn't feel like it was going to explode every time his fingers grazed her skin. "I've seen it with some of the kids in Ordon, so you just need to watch yourself around animals and stuff. Might need medicines for it at this rate." He moved over to rearranging her papers into neat piles on the bedspread. "I honestly feel terrible, bringing all the animals in here and making you sick like this."

"You shouldn't, Sir Link." She looked up at the man that was trying his hardest to survive in a world that didn't particularly care for kinder souls. He took the white blanket from her knees and draped it around her shoulders. "I truly appreciated it."

"I've put you weeks behind your work and you have a litter of dogs and cats making you feel terrible. I would hardly-"

She didn't know why she was doing it, but she reached out and curled her fingers between his own, despite the itchiness that roared up her forearm. "You wanted to see me happier. It's been years since anyone has really tried, Sir Link." Zelda blinked back the water in her eyes, making the excuse they were brought on by her "allergies" or whatever he called them. "Or even succeeded."

He inclined his head, showing off his bright-red embarrassed ears. "You're too kind, my Queen." Link covered her hand with his larger, rougher ones, raising it to her lips and pressing a light kiss to her knuckles. "Anything to see you smile."

She wished she didn't look so ill, so tired, so she could actually _learn_ how to smile again from him. "You should go," Zelda said sadly, "before someone notices you're gone." Without gloves, his touch was completely unlike any feeling she ever had before. As if that was how she wanted to be touched like this until the end of her days.

"We couldn't have the maids talking about the Queen and her dashing Captain of the Guard cavorting in her room unchaperoned, now could we?" But Link made no move to leave her bedside. She wanted him to linger, wanted him to stay. She wanted to know if he tasted like wet dog too, how many scars she somehow knew made constellations on his skin, what his nightmares were like and how to kiss them away, and what demons still haunted him.

And those moments will probably never pass.

The Queen slipped her fingers from his, clasping her hands together in the defensive position she was so accustomed to now. "You really need to go, Sir Link." She wishes she were a different woman, someone who didn't care what her people thought about how she should _think _or _feel_. Someone who didn't have the weight of her ancestors' legacies or a title she didn't think she would ever deserve on her shoulders. A woman who would allow herself to hold feelings for the man in front of her.

He slowly gathered up the empty cups and saucers before he bowed and walked to the door. "I would say you shouldn't keep that blanket-"

"I'll make sure the laundry knows to wash it so I won't break out in a rash every time I touch it."

Link nodded, turning the doorknob in his hand. "I'll take care of the dogs and cats. Put a few with the guards, some in the kitchens, and with other parts of the staff."

"I would appreciate that." She coughed into the blanket. "I'll be sure to visit my many new friends when I can."

He smiled, opening the door towards him. "Sir Link? Just… One more thing." He stopped in his tracks and turned his head, a broad smile on his face. "I loved my gift. Truly. Even if it made me," she gestured at the mess around her, "like this."

"And I'll do it all over again for you." Link slipped out and closed the door before she could formulate a biting response that would somehow disguise the blush on her face screaming otherwise. Oh _gods, _that man.

That infuriating, terrible… _amazing _man.

The Queen sighed, completely unwilling to dive back into the work after her heart was threatening to beat right out of her chest and her hands wouldn't stop tingling.

If only the Council saw her acting like a fool. She would never hear the end of this if someone came in right now.

Zelda tucked the ends of blanket under her chin, breathing in the scent of grass, dog, and something else… _pumpkin_? Did he even try to wash this before he gave it to her? No, of course he didn't.

She smiles and looks at the empty chair next to her bed. Maybe next time, when she feels better, she'll say something to let him know. Dropping a hint that _this _is allowed, and, in fact, _wanted. _

And then she sneezes.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for reading! It's a bit of a big deal to be writing so much right now, since I'm on break, so this might be it for a while - or at least until I have my act back together at school. Big things will be written soon, I promise! Thank you again for reading, and reviews are always appreciated!  
****-SP**


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